Do you ever feel like you are constantly saying "no" to everything? Are you worried that your parenting style may be creating a negative family environment?
You can turn your "no" into "yes" and create a more harmonious, positive household without letting your kids walk all over you! It requires you to re-think the way you phrase your words and with practice it becomes easier and fosters more positive results in the end.
An example of this would be instead of saying, "No, you can't play video games until your homework is done", you can turn it around by saying, "Yes, you can play video games as soon as your home work is done."
Instead of yelling "No running!", simply re-phrase it, "Walking feet please". It sounds more respectful and describes the desired behavior.
Take time to review your usual "no" scenarios and create a "yes" for future use so you are ready when the time arrives. In time, with regular use, the words become second nature.
Giving your child choices is another great way to create a positive learning environment, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to meet the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose.
You can get immediate results using this technique if you change how you respond to potential battles by giving your child the power to make some decisions. When dealing with a rather headstrong two-year old at bedtime, stay calm, and give choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice? The focus becomes her choice of drink instead of the battle on whether or not she is going to bed.
Because young kids are easily overwhelmed, help narrow down their choices, so that they have finite options for decision making. An example of this is: Your daughter likes to dress herself in the morning and you're not going anywhere today, so it doesn't really matter what she wears. However, if you give her free reign, she'll unload her entire closet and change six times before breakfast.
Child: I want to pick my clothes!
Mom: Sure, here's your pink shirt and your purple shirt. Which one would you like?
Child: The pink shirt!
The child was given the freedom to choose the pink shirt from the finite options. The choice has empowered her and helped build her self-confidence. It also provides a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.
You can embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, these techniques can help to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behavior.
At Precious Treasures, we encourage the use of "yes" and work to provide the most positive environment for learning and growth.
Follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/ptchildcare or look us up on Facebook at facebook.com/ptchildcare.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Discipline Strategies for All Ages
Many books have been written about discipline and there are many viewpoints and techniques that have been advocated throughout the years. The most effective method for some parents and children may not be effective for others. Try the methods that seem right for you and if you like the result, incorporate it into your discipline style. Keep in mind, we are parents first, friends second. This is a very basic outline for building a foundation of discipline that can be used as a starting point.
It's important to begin by "Laying the Foundation" which entails:
1. Mutual Respect. An important thing for parents to remember, is that the children that learn respect, are those that are also being treated respectfully. Children learn what they live. The adults in the family should use the same manners that they expect of their children.
2. Set Expectations & Consequences. Be firm and clear. Talk with your child about what will happen if they behave improperly. Give them examples of a consequence such as "You will be grounded to your room for one hour". Should it be necessary to implement a consequence then it should be immediate, on the same day.
3. Be Consistent. Follow through with the consequence when needed. Giving-in communicates to the child that they can get their way by misbehaving. Reward good behavior with hugs, kisses, stickers and small prizes. Be sure to let them know you still love them.
The goal of effective discipline is to teach the child how to behave, not to make the child suffer.
When children (ages 2 yrs & up) do not cooperate:
• Get down to their level and make eye contact.
• In a firm and calm voice ask them for their cooperation (i.e. turn the TV off). Don’t yell from the other end of the house.
• Give them five seconds to get themselves ready without any further comment.
• Make the same request again and explain the consequence – don’t raise your voice, use the same firm and calm voice.
• If they cooperate, acknowledge this.
• If they do not cooperate, then in a calm voice enforce the consequence.
• Other consequences are quiet time and/or time-out.
When children under 2 years old misbehave, the best technique to resolve the situation is to use redirection. Infants and toddlers can be easily distracted by providing them with an interesting alternative. For example, a child’s attention can be diverted from playing with your watch to playing with some toy keys. You can distract a child from pulling hair by shaking a rattle.
Another way to divert or redirect a child is simply to take the child’s hand. Guide the child, either away from the misbehavior or toward what you want the child to do. For redirection to work, there must be choices. Parents must have an acceptable alternative activity to offer the child.
Redirecting behavior is one of the very best guidance techniques because it turns bad behavior into good behavior.
At Precious Treasures, we like to provide our parents with the support they need to raise healthy, happy children. We want to be a resource for you, so please come to us if you have any questions about techniques for discipline that might work best for your child and/or circumstances.
Follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/ptchildcare or look us up on Facebook at facebook.com/ptchildcare
It's important to begin by "Laying the Foundation" which entails:
1. Mutual Respect. An important thing for parents to remember, is that the children that learn respect, are those that are also being treated respectfully. Children learn what they live. The adults in the family should use the same manners that they expect of their children.
2. Set Expectations & Consequences. Be firm and clear. Talk with your child about what will happen if they behave improperly. Give them examples of a consequence such as "You will be grounded to your room for one hour". Should it be necessary to implement a consequence then it should be immediate, on the same day.
3. Be Consistent. Follow through with the consequence when needed. Giving-in communicates to the child that they can get their way by misbehaving. Reward good behavior with hugs, kisses, stickers and small prizes. Be sure to let them know you still love them.
The goal of effective discipline is to teach the child how to behave, not to make the child suffer.
When children (ages 2 yrs & up) do not cooperate:
• Get down to their level and make eye contact.
• In a firm and calm voice ask them for their cooperation (i.e. turn the TV off). Don’t yell from the other end of the house.
• Give them five seconds to get themselves ready without any further comment.
• Make the same request again and explain the consequence – don’t raise your voice, use the same firm and calm voice.
• If they cooperate, acknowledge this.
• If they do not cooperate, then in a calm voice enforce the consequence.
• Other consequences are quiet time and/or time-out.
When children under 2 years old misbehave, the best technique to resolve the situation is to use redirection. Infants and toddlers can be easily distracted by providing them with an interesting alternative. For example, a child’s attention can be diverted from playing with your watch to playing with some toy keys. You can distract a child from pulling hair by shaking a rattle.
Another way to divert or redirect a child is simply to take the child’s hand. Guide the child, either away from the misbehavior or toward what you want the child to do. For redirection to work, there must be choices. Parents must have an acceptable alternative activity to offer the child.
Redirecting behavior is one of the very best guidance techniques because it turns bad behavior into good behavior.
At Precious Treasures, we like to provide our parents with the support they need to raise healthy, happy children. We want to be a resource for you, so please come to us if you have any questions about techniques for discipline that might work best for your child and/or circumstances.
Follow us on Twitter at twitter.com/ptchildcare or look us up on Facebook at facebook.com/ptchildcare
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