Is Your Child Familiar with Yes?

Do you ever feel like you are constantly saying "no" to everything?  Are you worried that your parenting style may be creating a negative family environment?

You can turn your "no" into "yes" and create a more harmonious, positive household without letting your kids walk all over you!  It requires you to re-think the way you phrase your words and with practice it becomes easier and fosters more positive results in the end.

An example of this would be instead of saying, "No, you can't play video games until your homework is done", you can turn it around by saying, "Yes, you can play video games as soon as your home work is done."

Instead of yelling "No running!", simply re-phrase it, "Walking feet please".  It sounds more respectful and describes the desired behavior.
 
Take time to review your usual "no" scenarios and create a "yes" for future use so you are ready when the time arrives.  In time, with regular use, the words become second nature.

Giving your child choices is another great way to create a positive learning environment, by giving them control of non-essential choices designed to meet the desired outcome regardless of which choice they choose.

You can get immediate results using this technique if you change how you respond to potential battles by giving your child the power to make some decisions.  When dealing with a rather headstrong two-year old at bedtime, stay calm, and give choices like: Do you want to have milk before you go to bed, or juice?  The focus becomes her choice of drink instead of the battle on whether or not she is going to bed.

Because young kids are easily overwhelmed, help narrow down their choices, so that they have finite options for decision making.  An example of this is:  Your daughter likes to dress herself in the morning and you're not going anywhere today, so it doesn't really matter what she wears.  However, if you give her free reign, she'll unload her entire closet and change six times before breakfast.

Child:  I want to pick my clothes!
Mom:  Sure, here's your pink shirt and your purple shirt.  Which one would you like?
Child:  The pink shirt!

The child was given the freedom to choose the pink shirt from the finite options.  The choice has empowered her and helped build her self-confidence.   It also provides a trusting and positive environment while teaching some positive habits.

You can embrace the fact that testing the limits is a natural and healthy way for young children to learn, these techniques can help to facilitate and not discourage that type of learning, and yet still teach the right behavior.

At Precious Treasures, we encourage the use of "yes" and work to provide the most positive environment for learning and growth.

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