10 Ways to Help a Shy Child

Almost half of the entire world’s population is deemed to exhibit shyness at some point of their lives. If we notice a group of children playing in the school playground, there will be at least one kid who will be away from the play group, either watching his peers or daydreaming. Shyness can be defined as one’s reluctance to engage in a social activity because of the fear of being embarrassed in an unfamiliar situation. Shy children can blossom if you try building confidence in them.

There are a few tips about shyness in children which will help you better understand the best approach in dealing with your child.  It is most beneficial to the growth and balance of your child’s overall performance to identify the nature of your child's shyness.

1.  First, are you sure your child really is Shy? Some children like to warm-up to a situation before they jump in. Caution should not be misunderstood as shyness. Shyness in children can also reach an extreme level where professional help is required. For instance, an autistic child or a dyslexic child can appear socially withdrawn.

2.  You'll need to find out the type of situations that make your child shy. Some children are shy only when they are in a group. Others become shy when asked to make a presentation in front of the class at school. Try to identify the specific skills your child needs to be more at ease in social situations which make them to be shy.

3.  Avoid referring to your child as "shy".  Studies have shown that often a child will grow to fit a label. Parental pressure on the shy child can cause anxiety and insecurity, leading to a worse problem with shyness. Try not to push your child to achieve above his/her individual level.

4.  Teach your child to resist or say no to teasing in a healthy manner.  Education of the peers is also very necessary in this case as it helps the child to move out of his shell without any hassles. Never compare your shy child with other children in a negative way.  Never criticize the child nor allow other children to tease or bully him/her just because of shyness.

5.  Have healthy conversations with children. By lessening the importance of a child's concerns you lessen the child.

6.  Help your child identify talents and hobbies that make him or her feel special, which would help him/her in sharing his/her favorite activities or books or even the factors or events that trouble him. This would eventually help in assisting the child to overcome his shyness.

7.  Children should be encouraged to get involved in group activities.   Seek out activities that offer an opportunity for growth and increased interaction with other children of his/ her age. Limit isolating activities, like watching TV.

8.  Be patient. Avoid push your child to do things he or she would find unbearable. Rather, make suggestions and acknowledge when your child may not be ready.

9.  You need not handle your shy child with kid gloves, but be aware of how he feels and show that you understand.

10. How do you prepare others who are caring for your child?  Have you ever experienced this "shy scene" when introducing your child to a new babysitter?  When they enter the room the child lowers his chin to his chest, semi-closes his eyes, puts his thumb into his mouth, and darts behind his mother, clinging to her legs trying to hide.

To address this situation, tell the child care worker to make no attempt to go after the child, but first greet the mother in an easy, friendly way. As the mother becomes comfortable relating to the childcare worker, the child listens in on their socializing. Hopefully, he'll decide "He's okay with mom, so he's okay with me." If the child doesn't reappear, then have the daycare provider make a game out of the moment: "Where's Tommy? I sure would like to see him. I guess he isn't here. I'll come back later."  Have them leave the room for a moment to give the child space, then re-enter, usually to a child at ease.

Social retreating is a normal stage of development.  Being shy doesn't have to mean that something is wrong with your child. It simply means that your child is uncomfortable in social situations.

• Importantly, the child should be made aware of the fact that shyness is not a disorder. Neil Armstrong, Albert Einstein, and Tom Hanks to name just a few are great examples of all those great people who were once shy in their lives. All these steps would definitely go a long way in helping the child to break the thin bubble of shyness around him. Building confidence in shy children should be your goal.

Resources:  http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/teachingkidsselfesteem.php